Thursday, December 30, 2010

100 Truths

100 truths WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: Water
2. Last phone call: Bachan
3. Last text message: Cyd
4. Last song you listened to: Sparks Fly - Taylor Swift
5. Last time you cried: I don't remember.


7. Been cheated on: No
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Yes
9. Lost someone special: Yes
10. Been depressed: Yes
11. Been drunk and threw up: Almost, but no haha


12. Purple
13. Pink
14. Green


15. Made a new friend: Many :)
16. Fallen out of love: Thankfully
17. Laughed until you cried: Yes
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes
19. Found out who your true friends were: Absolutely. It was more like realizing who really matters
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: Yes (Friends list being Facebook, I'm assuming)


22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: All
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2
24. Do you have any pets: Black lab :)
25. Do you want to change your name: Sure.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Went to Disneyland with the fam. Saw Usher/Trey Songz with Cyd and Arleny
27. What time did you wake up today: 10ish
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching Criminal Minds
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Losing all the extra weight :D
30. Last time you saw your Mother: right now
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Making better choices last year. Yup.
32. What are you listening to right now: Dad's watching Without A Trace
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My Jichan and my cousin
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: My weight. as;dfjkl;jsd
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook probably
36. What’s your real name: I don't post that ish on here lol
37. Nicknames: So many; Tanjerine, Panda, Heath Bar, Pixie Dust, Capt James Tangy etc.
38. Relationship Status: Single and happy
39. Zodiac sign: Scorpio
40. Male or Female: Female
41. Elementary?: Lincoln/Coastal Academy
42. Middle School?: Coastal
43. High school/college?: SBFA/El Co/Biola
44. Hair color: Brown
46. Weight: About 15 pounds too many
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: No
48: What do you like about yourself?: My determination
49. Piercings: 2 lobes
50. Tattoos: None yet
51. Righty or left: Lefty


52. First surgery: Senior year of high school
53. First piercing: Ears
54. First best friend: Kristina O
55. First sport you joined: T-Ball hahaha!
56. First vacation: Don't remember. I think a road trip up to Washington


59. Eating: Nothing
60. Drinking: Nothing
61. I’m about to: Sleep. I'm wiped out.
62. Listening to: you asked me this already
63. Waiting for: life.


64. Want kids?: Yes
65. Get Married?: hope so...
66. Career?: Public relations practitioner -- entertainment, small businesses and travel


67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs mean more, usually.
69. Shorter or taller: Taller
70. Older or Younger: Older
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Both
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Stomach
73. Sensitive or loud: The life of the party but the keeper of my heart
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship. Hook-ups are only fun in the moment
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Not afraid to make risks but not an idiot


76. Kissed a stranger: Define stranger.
77. Drank hard liquor: Yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Both!
79. Sex on first date: Never
80. Broken someone’s heart: Did he even have a heart to begin with? Hahaha
82. Been arrested: No
83. Turned someone down: Yes
84. Cried when someone died: Yes
85. Fallen for a friend?: Yes


86. Yourself: I believe in the power of God working through me
87. Miracles: Yes
88. Love at first sight: No
89. Heaven: Yes
90. Santa Claus: No
91. Kiss on the first date: If it feels right
92. Angels: Yes


94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No
95. Did you sing today?: Yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: No
97. If you could go back in time: I would rewind in a heartbeat
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it: That one lovely summer evening would be nice...
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: I want to, without a doubt. But every time, I always get so terrified. But I've grown up now. I'm ready to conquer that fear.
100. Where you perfectly honest in this survey: Yes

Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Random list of things I'm looking forward to:

+Celebrating the New Year with two of my best friends!
+Shogatsu :D (Google it)
+The return of: Greek, The Bachelor, Jersey Shore, Glee, and Gossip Girl
+Internship starts!
+More hours at job = $$
+Shopping spree
+Moving back to school
+Starting classes

2011 is definitely starting with a bang xD

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Photo Splat

Credit goes to Katie J for this idea :)

1. picture of you in your room

2. your besties:

the one who helps me sort life out:

friends since the first grade <3:

all the growing up we've done...

laughter, tears, advice, love.

3. a good feeling
Last day of school 2009. Good times haha

4. the youngest picture you can find

5. one of your favorite outfits
seriously, if I could stay in a swim suit all day I would.

6. A goofy face

7. An edited picture

8. a picture of a night you regret
this was a fun night but if I could take back certain things about it I probably would.

9. A most recent picture of you
halloween 10'!

10. A picture of you being yourself

11. A picture of you being absolutely ridiculous

12. a picture of a time in your life that's over, but you wish it wasn't.
Summer 2008. I miss my Don Juan (the car), + i had it all figured out then :)

13. A picture of a time in your life that's over, and you couldn't be more thankful that it is
i love these girls. and this was a fun night. but emotionally, that week was hell.
never again (i hope)

14. A picture of you when you were anything but happy...even if you were smiling and did your best to hide it

15. A picture of you that you had no idea was being taken

16. a picture of you when you were a different person than you are now.
august 18, 2009.
funny how just a little more than a year can change you

17. A picture of you with someone you love

18. A picture of how you'd like the world to see you

19. A picture that describes how you'd like to spend every day
river raftinggg.
it's not so much i'd like to spend every day river rafting, but trying new things, exploring, living.

20. A picture of a time when everything was changing
and oh how it changed.

21. A picture of an ex

As if I'd waste any space...

22. A picture that makes your heart smile

23. A picture of one of the best nights (or days) of your life
such a good day/night!!!

24. a picture with your family
oh yes, we are so dang classy.

Monday, December 20, 2010

2011 Resolutions

That saying sums up everything I hope for 2011 to be. I can't change a lot of things... but I can choose to my perspective on life and what my thoughts are :)

However, being the idealist that I am, I have thought about the past year and what I liked, what I didn't like and finally, what direction I want to go in as 2011 begins. To figure this out, I thought about where I want to be at the end of the year and worked my way backwards. SO...

The New Years Resolution List:

1. Take the 365 Challenge.
Basically, you take a photo of something every day and write about what it was you did. Kind of excited for this one!

2. Lose the last 10 pounds.
I've done a good job of NOT gaining weight at school, and I've started to lose weight again. So hopefully the momentum will keep on going. I have a plan, I have resources. I just need to make myself stick to it :D

3. Stay motivated in school--keep GPA above a 3.5
So confession time: I didn't do as good a job in school as I should have. I spread myself too thin in all aspects of life and didn't give my best like I did in the Spring. So, for 2011, (at least for Spring semester) I really want to focus on giving my 100% best to my studies. Hopefully the effort will show in my grades.

4. Manage money wisely!!!
Tithe regularly, save more than I spend, and stop BUYING food! :x

5. Have found and committed to a good church.
I've found one around school that I really enjoy but on Sunday morning I'm either sleeping in, coming home from a vacation/road trip or heading out on an all-day adventure. Still, that's no excuse and I really should start going to church on a regular basis...

6. Moved into an apartment.
Because living in the dorms simply isn't an option when you're 21. I have the roommates picked out, and a place. Now it's just a matter of actually accomplishing the move. Deadline for this one: August.

7. Keep friendships strong & try to be a good daughter.
I have been blessed with some amazing girls and guys in my life. These relationships have really made 2010 great and I want to make sure to keep in touch with them. Plus I have an even deeper appreciation and love for the fam bam and I want to serve them for once :)

8. Have PRSSA running bright and strong.
There are three officers right now and we're just getting our bearings. I want to make sure the Biola PRSSA chapter is in good hands when we leave!

9. Completed two internships.
Hopefully I can really do well at the Warner Bros. internship and that will lead to another one :)

10. Focus on 2 hobbies and grow in those skills.
I haven't decided what those two hobbies are yet but I really want to spend time doing things I enjoy and getting better at them. I still love to play piano and I also enjoy photography. So maybe it will be those. But who knows!

11. Expand musical tastes and library (find a new artist/read a new book each month).

12. Go to Las Vegas for the big 21.
Enough said.

13. Don't settle for anyone.
I'm tired of settling for nothing. I'm done with it all. I'm tired of keeping up appearances, knowing it means nothing, feeling nothing emotionally... what's the point? Sure a girl wants attention and a hand to hold, but those needs can wait until I find a guy I genuinely like, and who is willing to commit, someone who I am genuinely attracted to. I'm confident enough in myself to not need a one-night stand. I'm okay with being alone if it means waiting for the right guy to come along. But I don't want to have to go through meaningless faux relationships to get there.

14. Be able to run 3 miles non-stop.
I wimp out around 2 miles, but by next year I want running 3 miles to feel like it does running 1 mile: piece of cake.

15. Do something completely daring.
River rafting, free rock climbing, skydiving... something along those lines. I discovered I kind of enjoy being scared and then taking the plunge. So why not do something and live to tell about it, right? ;)

16. Travel.
Mission trips, study abroad, more conferences... I want to see what the world is like beyond small and materialistic Southern California. To that end I also want to write more.

17. Finish my Bucket List...

2011, I'm not sure what you have in store for me. It'll be a long time until I find out. But this is what I'm trying to do for myself and I hope you will be nice to me!


Closing Up 2010

The semester from hell is finally over and I am back in the South Bay for Christmas :)

I couldn't be happier to kiss Fall 2010 adieu, not because it was horrible but because it was just so damn busy. I'm no stranger to 18 units but for whatever reason, this semester's load was a LOT harder than the others. Welcome to the real world! But to balance out the stress of academia, Fall 2010 was also F U N. Many new friends, opportunities and good times were had and I can't say I regret any of them :)

I wish I could splatter this blog with pictures and quotes that sum up this semester but unfortunately, I'm not that creative and my mind is still recovering from finals. So, just the high points:

+Washington D.C. for PRSSA National Conference (and all the adventures that came with it)
+Big Bear with all the girls <3
+Seeing MUSE live :D
+My birthday
+Six Flags/Disneyland/Scary Farm
+Reindeer humping
+Having my best friend live down the hall from me
+Seeing Usher//Trey Songz thanks to the bestie
+Growing in faith and in my major

Add to that all the parties, late-night girl talks and 5am Dennys runs and I would say this semester was a success! Even though life was really stressful and sometimes I wasn't sure I could get it all done, I learned so much and God blessed me with many great memories :)

2010 as a whole was the year of change (*cough* cliche), and now I am at the end of it all. I've lost some weight, improved upon my wardrobe, expanded my tastes in music, ideas and the world in general, and have a better grip on what it means to be Me. I've also crossed off a few things on my bucket list (swam with dolphins/sea turtles, seeing Muse etc.)

So now we have arrived at 2011.

I'm a sucker for fresh starts and the prospect of adventure, so naturally I am all over the New Year idealism.

The best part of 2010, is knowing who I am again. The transition from teen to adult was a little strange and a bit rocky, but I've achieved balance. I know who I am, what I need to work on, and who I want to be. It all fits together, somehow.

2011 is a big year! I start my first internship EVER with Warner Bros. Music Group in Burbank, working 18 hours a week with Promotions. I'm scared of messing everything up but definitely exciting and embracing the opportunity with gusto.

In addition to that, I will be taking 14 units at Biola--the smallest amount of classes I have taken in two years. I will also be continuing my old job in hopes of making some bank aha.

So I'm thinking all of that will keep me pretty busy for at least the next three months. I'm definitely stoked to see what is around the corner. Only God knows. And since only He knows, I am once more putting complete trust in Him!

Oh and 2011 is a very important year because I'll officially be the big 2-1!!! Ohhh dang. Should be some good times for sure. Like the last three years of college, but better.

Who knows what is going to happen, whether it be good or bad, exciting or mellow, everything is supposed to happen for a reason. A few goals for the new year:

+Continuing dropping the pounds. I'm pretty in shape, thanks to all the time spent at the gym and the track but I want to keep getting stronger. I want to reach my goal weight and I am 7 pounds away from it! I need to keep going. Plus I want my flexibility back. Remember when I could do the splits? Yeah, its been awhile.

+Continue to live life in the moment. I've been soaking in every moment, enjoying life for what it is and honestly, its made the world seem so much brighter. It sounds stupid I know, but life has this new spark ever since I've stopped worrying about the future or wishing for the past.

+Stop being self-centered. It's hard to be a PR major (the career that is all about image) and not be caught up in self, but I want to continue placing God first and subsequently my family and friends. I want to focus on them and serving them, listening to God and trying to live a life He wants me to be.

Those are just a few of my goals for 2011. I know I should try to keep the list minimal and practical in order to succeed but the dreamer part of me insists on throwing a few more in there as well. I will most definitely be posting a 2011 New Years Resolution List soon...

Last few weeks of the year and things are going so fast! Ah!!!


Friday, November 19, 2010

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows

So last night was a pretty big night. Millions of people the world 'round lined up in front of millions of theaters in anticipation of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part One (the seventh installment out of eight movies.) Of course, being a fan of the books, I was one of the millions.

This isn't a movie review. Just some observations...

1. No matter how great a movie is (and this was a damn good flick), it will never compare to the book.

2. Ron got buff.

3. Why is Mundungus Fletcher wearing a seedy looking 80's shirt? It fits his character but still just... why?

4. Emma Watson looks best with long hair.

5. Some people shouldn't be allowed to watch movies in theater.

6. Hedwig didn't die like that. (Even though it would be cool if she did.)

7. Redbull + Caramel Frappucino + m&ms + popcorn + Nerds + Twix = a big fatty stomachache. No. Bueno.

All this to say, it was definitely worth the money, the three hour wait, and going to bed at 5am... and waking up at 7am.

Oh, to be a working college student...


Monday, November 15, 2010

i'm sad.

for multiple reasons.

all self-centered reasons. all selfish and vain reasons.

but i'm sad nonetheless.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Very Merry Birthday!

(copyright to Disney)

I turned old on Friday.

The big two-oh. One year before I turn 21. So close, yet so far *sigh*

So instead of feeling elated, I was mostly just overwhelmed at turning two decades old. I know. There are older people out there and they feel quite young. But getting jolted out of teenage-dom is just weird. Since that's what most of my life has consisted of. Anyway... I feel like writing. And even though it's going to be long and boring, here goes! hehe

It started at midnight of 11/12. I was exhausted from the week's happenings and accidentally fell asleep around 8pm. I was awakened at exactly 12:00 a.m. by a shout of "IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!" and a showering of bright green balloons. One of my best friends (Love ya Cyd), and some awesome girls on my floor had poured into my room to wish me a happy birthday :)

I opened my present, which turned out to be this pretty fantastic zen fountain thing. Which I LOVE, and is currently running on my desk :D And Cydney wrote me this awesome card that basically sums up our whole friendship: some tears, lots of laughter, great memories all around.

The fountain.

Then I knocked out again ahahaha.

The next day was my actual birthday... so of course I went to DISNEYLAND!! <3 It was all Christmas'd up so the whole family drove out and we spent the day there. Won't bore with the details, but we went on all the good rides, saw some of Fantasmic!, and ate at Cafe Orleans. Love the birthday, love the fam <33

When I got back to my dorm room I saw that my door was decorated with Tinkerbell wrapping paper and streamers :) I seriously love my friends. Then I walk in and Bails (<3), had thrown confetti all over my desk and given me a great birthday card. So fun. and then the door opens and in comes my bestie with a Funfetti birthday cake, 20 candles and all, accompanied by the other girls. So they sang happy birthday, we popped some apple cider and had a good time :)

So I literally celebrated from midnight to midnight! it was WONDERFUL.

And then I woke up at 6:30 this morning and spent 11 hours working an event for high schoolers promoting journalism. It was fun. Event planning and PR = pretty much amazing. haha.

I am so blessed to have friends who remember/care about me and take the time to make me feel special, family who's willing to take a whole day off to celebrate with me, and just... wow. It was so great. I'm still smiling from it all.

Tomorrow is the final bday celebration. Cydney, being the crazy good friend she is, is taking me to see Usher at the Honda Center. VIP seats and all. She's pretty much amazing. What the heck haha. So I'm stoked!! :D

Life is good! God is good! YEE.


Sunday, October 24, 2010


I haven't updated this in days... weeks!

I've been updating my tumblr pretty often but that doesn't suffice :p

This blog will be written on, photo'd up and generally amped up again soon.



Saturday, October 9, 2010

Blessings in Disguise

I'm sick.

Headache, fever, sniffles and a cough. Nothing too serious but enough to make me drive home for the weekend like a wuss.

It has definitely been a good weekend though!

+chicken noodle soup
+watching old movies:
~BBC Pride & Prejudice
~Take Me Out To The Ball Game (gene kelly... LOVE)
~Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
+seeing the family for the first time in weeks
+time to do my homework (read: mid terms)
+free laundry

overall, a pretty decent weekend, despite its contrast to the wildness of the last one :)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

One Month Challenge, Week Three

I can't believe it's almost been a month since my first post! I'm still eating junk food but managed to reduce my intake (last night notwithstanding... hellooo three chocolate chip cookies). I even skipped fro yo this week!

I've been eating a lot of salad (without the dressing), bread (without butter), soup (without the crackers) and the occasional turkey slice. It's surprising how easy it is to maintain a high energy level during the day when I actually eat healthy. I've found I can concentrate better in class, be more productive, and work out more intensely. It's a win-win situation.

I'm still not junk-food free but I have learned how to avoid the binge eating. Whenever I get stressed, my first impulse is to eat. I just shut down. I binge, I sleep, I eat some more. But I've finally found a way to counter that.

Now instead of turning to food for comfort I turn to working out. Running, weights, yoga whatever, it works. And it's great.

I don't feel gross as much anymore, and I know how to combat cravings AND stress.

So even though I'm STILL not living up to the challenge completely, I'm learning some important lessons.

The month is almost up! Let's see how healthy I stay THIS week.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


Once upon a time I wrote a bucket list. Number 4 was "See Muse Live."

Two years later it happened. And it was an amazing, kick ass time.

I've liked Muse for a long time, way before Twilight ever came to pass. (I'm still scratching my head over why Muse collaborated with vampires, but that's another post.)

Anyway, B and L drove out to school and the three of us drove to the Honda Center to see this amazing band here from England for the first time in who knows how long.

We were running late and we walked quickly into the lobby. We climbed up the stairs. The sounds of "Take A Bow" resonated from speakers. We picked up our pace. The crowd was going nuts, even though Muse wasn't quite on the stage yet. Suddenly, "Resistance" began playing. It was starting. Muse. Live. We started to run.

We made it to our seats just as the band came on stage. The roar of the crowd, the sounds of "Resistance," Matt Bellamy actually THERE... my adrenaline was rushing before I even put my purse down.

The whole concert was amazing. You know a band is good when they perform live, and they sound even better. Not every band sounds like that. But Muse does. The songs I've listened to over and over, now blasting from the stage, surrounded by people who loved their music as much as I do. Oh. Man.

A few of the songs they played:

+Supermassive Black Hole
+United States of Eurasia (minus Chopin at the end)
+Time Is Running Out (How could the NOT?!)
+Undisclosed Desires
+The Small Print
+Feeling Good (swoon)
+Map of the Problematique
+Knights of Cydonia (FINALE gah).

My life is just that much more complete. I'm still high off the adrenaline rush.

What a great night :)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

One Month Challege, Week Two-ish

So in a previous post I began my challenge for September (inspired by CC), of forgoing junk food for an entire month, with the exception of frozen yogurt.

Well let me tell you what I've had to eat in the past two and a half weeks:

ice cream
frozen yogurt

...oops. Fail!

But not entirely! So I started the week off well, not eating any junk food and this lasted for an entirety of oh, a day. But I really, REALLY limited my intake of the sweets and salty snacks. For example, I would have a handful of chips or a bite of a cookie. I rarely binged. And for me, that's huge.

So while I wasn't able to keep my paws off the junk food, I was able to use self-control and limit my intake. I felt good about myself, and according to Weight Watchers I didn't even use up all my points each day! I worked out with more energy than usual, and just felt more alert in general.

I also lost three pounds.

So even though I haven't been sticking to the challenge whole-heartedly there have definitely been positive results.

I'm still trying to stick to the whole "no junk food" mantra for the last two weeks, since starting over is always a good thing.

Here's to dedication :p


Wednesday, September 15, 2010


The first time I thought I was fat I was five. A girl told me I was really fat so I believed her.

I thought my legs were too chubby.

But I got over it as five year olds do.

Then I turned 15. And I felt fat and self-conscious again.

I thought this picture of me made my stomach and arms huge.

I spent the next three years feeling like I needed to lose 25 pounds but I just couldn't find the self-control or dedication to do it.

So by the time senior year rolled around I was self-conscious about my stomach and still needed to lose 25 pounds. It never occurred to me that the fact I was the exact same weight as I was three years ago was an indication that it was okay.

This was supposed to be my senior picture. But it made my stomach look big so I chose a close up shot instead.

College was no different. I gained a lot of weight due to stress and other issues. So I was the heaviest I had ever been. I spent my entire fall semester feeling "blah." Not pretty, not attractive, just blah.

This is me at my lowest point (aka highest weight). You'll notice my face has gotten rounder and I'm not as skinny as I used to be haha:

I've lost eight pounds since that picture was taken. And I hope to lose 8 more. Or maybe even 10. But here's the deal: I'm OKAY with how I look now.

I look back on all these pictures, pictures where I formerly thought, "ew. untag. ew. i look so chubby." and I realize that I wasn't half as overweight as I thought I was. I had an image problem.

It wasn't an eating disorder. I was never anorexic or bulimic. It wasn't ever serious or life-threatening.

But I had image problems nonetheless. I would look in the mirror and think, "I'm not like those girls who look in the mirror and see a girl who is like, 20 pounds heavier than they actually are. This is really how I look. *sigh*"

But the ironic truth was, I WAS one of those girls. What I weight/looked like as a freshman in college, is how I thought I looked at 15. I wear a size 5 now. Back then I was a size 2. What??

It's crazy how that works out. It gets more ironic.

Right now, I weight much more and have more fat on my body than I ever did as a senior in highschool. But I finally see my self the way I really am. And I'm comfortable with that.

I'm just me. I acknowledge the areas that could lose fat/get toned/whatever. But I am also happy with the way I look right now.

Sure I'd like to be a size 2 again. But I'm much more secure now, as a size 5, than I ever was three years ago.

Quirks, flaws and all. It is what it is and it's me :)

updates, apologies, etc.

I meant to blog today, I really did.

I meant to write about my month challenge and how that was going, PRSSA, campaigning for Journalism Boot Camp, Washington D.C. and helping my aunt with her new baking business and so forth...

But then this little thing called 5 Hour Energy Drink came into my life.

The crash feels like death. And by death I mean the flu.

I feel a lot better now but still, ick.

Or maybe I really am getting sick (please God, no).

Either way, that's the last time I invest in energy drinks. Or in this case, energy shots.


Monday, September 6, 2010

One Month Challenge

I'm a big fan of the college blog College Candy and one of the columns they have is the One-Month Challenge. Every girl has something they would like to improve on. I've decided that for this fall semester, I will give myself a challenge for every month until we hit finals.

The One Month Challenge this month on CC, was to give up junk food completely. It inspired me to do a [slightly modified] version of this challenge too.

SO, my One Month Challenge for September 2010 is to give up on junk food entirely, with the exception of fro yo. Because really, who can expect a girl to get through a month without my fro yo. Impossible!

Basically, I'm cutting out anything unhealthy. This includes chips, fries, ice cream *tear*, brownies, etc. It's not so much of a challenge to lose weight, but more of a challenge to live the healthy lifestyle I've been fighting for all summer. It's time to give my body the break it deserves, and see if it will make any difference.

I'll be blogging here every Tuesday night to write some observations and report on my progress (or lack thereof).

Hope everyone had a great Labor Day weekend! Let's grind through until Friday :)


Friday, September 3, 2010


There is no doubt about it... after one week, three papers, four quizzes, and six bowls of oatmeal later, I have concluded that Fall semester will be a bit difficult. Our next break isn't until Thanksgiving *cries* but thankfully this weekend is the start of LABOR DAY!!!

This means:

-pedicures and fro yo with the girls
-dancing all night long
-trip to san diego. or maybe just the beach ;)
-BBQ/visit with the fam bam

I am thus far in heaven.

Can't wait!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

theme song

It's been awhile since I've blogged. A shamefully long while, in fact.

18 units, work, friends, family, commitments... going from a summer of bliss to return to chaotic college life was a bit stressful! But now I've hit my stride again and it feels good :) Got my homework done, eating right, working out, hanging out with friends, learning from God... it's been a good week.

So that's what has been going on with me.

I think I will make it one of my goals this semester to blog at least once a week. Regardless of who reads (or doesn't read) my posts, it's a good thing for a journalist to, you know, actually write consistently haha ;)

I could write an extensively long and boring update on how great/challenging life has been but for now, I think it's just easier to sum it up in this song, because this is exactly what's up!

I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine
I'm lovin' cloud nine, my head's in the sky
I'm solo, I'm ridin' solo

Yeah, I'm feelin' good tonight
Finally doing me and it feels so right, oh
Time to do the things I like
Going to the club everything's alright, oh

Told me get my shit together
Now I got my shit together, yeah
Now I made it through the weather
Better days are gonna get better

I'm so sorry that it didn't work out
I'm movin' on
I'm so sorry but it's over now
The pain is gone

I'm puttin' on my shades to cover up my eyes
I'm jumpin' in my ride, I'm headin' out tonight
I'm solo, I'm ridin' solo
I'm ridin' solo, I'm ridin' solo, solo


Sunday, August 22, 2010

The next ocean

12 hours, three car loads, and one shopping trip later, I am FINALLY moved into my dorm room :)
It's super cute, two of my besties live right down the hall, and two great friends from high school live on the floor beneath mine. It's pretty freakin awesome, not gonna lie.

I'm so stoked for this year.
I know it's going to be stressful and crazy busy but I think I'm happier this way.
I wonder what adventures are in store this second time around, and more importantly, what God has to show me (through trials and blessings alike) this year.
Who is He going to bring into my life, and what is He going to use me for?
I'm trying to simply BE, and to listen to what He wants me to do, what I can do for His great plan.
It's pretty exciting stuff :)

I remember this time last year, I was so lost, hurting and broken. I was an emotional, clueless wreck but thanks to God and my friends, I somehow got through the year and I'm proud to say, the girl who walked into school last year, is no more. God has filled my heart with so much love and peace it's crazy. And all I had to do was trust Him. Imagine that.

I remember the day before I left, I drove down to my favorite beach and sat on the sand all by myself. I stared out into the ocean, and said to God, "This ocean is like my future. It's wide, and a little scary and I can't see the end of it. There are blank faces and empty canvases ahead of me. For the first time, I have no idea what kind of friends or what kind of life is in store for me. I'm so caught up in what's going on here, I can't see how I'll ever get out of this mess. I can't see how this hurt is ever going to go away. I just ask that you pull me out of here and I trust you will fill those blank faces and empty canvases with the right people and the right experiences."

And yet as I said this, I still wasn't sure. I was stuck in a rut.

But here I am, a whole year later. Some of the blank faces have been filled with some amazing friends and the empty canvas has splashes of color: laughter, tears, adventures, and life lessons. I've crossed the ocean. God not only pulled me out of that rut in my life, but He's placed me where I'm supposed to be. But now I'm sitting on another beach, looking at ANOTHER long stretch of water. Again, I can't what lies beyond. I'm about to go swimming in a storm of stress and chaos. And I can't wait.

My heart is full and I am content, so happy with my friends and family. I'm just in a better place than last year. And I have no doubt that God is going to do some amazing things and even if things go horribly awry, He will be there with me.

I just want to pray a blessing over everyone here at school, that we listen to His voice and that we stay strong whatever this year brings.

I'm about to dive in head first, and I'm excited to see what lies in this particular ocean.

Here's to another school year!


Saturday, August 7, 2010

welcome to paradise

Best friend + beach house + remaining weeks of summer...

It doesn't get much better than this :)

Sunday, August 1, 2010

expect a dry spell...

i have way too many journals/blogs:

1. this blog. which has thus far served as a site for all my ramblings, some adventures, prayers, etc. etc.

2. my tumblr. This is my visual diary of sorts.

3. my livejournal--no one reads this one but me. it holds many of my secrets, fears, and deepest thoughts. it's also a diary for long, boring entries that only i would find interesting.

4. my prayer journal. it's just a pretty journal that i keep on my desk. i write to God in it.

all of this to say, I write every day. I blog every day. But a lot of the times, it's not on this particular site. And lately I've been inspired to post more short blips on tumblr, and vent all frustrations out on the live journal. So if I don't post until the end of August or something, that's why.

Just thought I would give you a head's up!


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Fall 2010 Sched

It's a little early to be writing this, but seeing as school is starting in less than a month [.... i know] I might as well:


9:30-10:30 - Chapel
12:00-12:50 - Intro to Convergence
1:30-2:45 - Journalism Research
3:00-3:50 - Nature of Computing
4:30-5:20 - PR Practicum
6:00-9:00 - Acts


8:30-9:20 - Volleyball
10:30-11:45 - Writing for Public Relations
1:30-2:45 - Theology I


8:00-9:30 - Work
9:30-10:30 - Chapel
12:00-12:50 - Intro to Convergence
1:30-2:45 - Journalism Research
3:00-3:50 - Nature of Computing


8:30-9:20 - Volleyball
10:30-11:45 - Writing for Public Relations
1:30-2:45 - Theology I
3:00-5:00 - Work


8:00-9:30 - Work
9:30-10:30 - Chapel
12:00-12:50 - Intro to Convergence

+ writing for the newspaper, PRSSA, Social Action ministry, church, and a dance/yoga class or two...

looks like it's going to be a crazy semester. Can't wait!


Sunday, July 25, 2010

This verse...

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

-Romans 12:2

As a teenager/college student especially, I feel this verse is a daily challenge to follow.

But we can't grow if we're not challenged, right?

I Dreamed a Dream

I Dreamed a Dream

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

-Fantine, Les Miserables

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Reminder to Self:

At the end of the day, it's still all about God.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Donde esta summer?!

It was the end of May. Finals were almost completed and I could already visualize myself laying out in the sun, day in and day out. By the time I had finished packing the last of my things, I could practically feel the ocean's salty waves lifting my body up and down.

And then I came home. And the perpetual California Gurls record I had playing in my head came to a screeching halt.

June gloom had arrived, and it wasn't. going. away.

I would wake up every morning and the overcast chilly weather was there. For four long weeks... make that five or six since the gloom extended into July, I would be forced to hike, party, and live in 65 degree weather, with little to no sun. What was this?! I don't know if it was the weather or if it was sheer exhaustion from school, but June was a bad month. Sure I had fun here and there but mostly it was just me in a slump.

Then finally last week [40 days before school starts, I might add], the sun came up! Finally!

Bike rides! Hiking! Bonfires! Parties! Beach all day!

But now, only 7 days after the sun decided to show itself, he has disappeared again.


Thursday, July 15, 2010

In A Relationship

I like being in a relationship with God better than being in a relationship with a boy.

Here's why:

1. God won't ever break up with you or make stupid excuses for his behavior. He will stay there until the very end... and beyond that. "Til death do us part" doesn't really apply in this relationship.

2. God won't ever hurt you. Remember those fights and cruel words? The tears and insecurities? Yeah, God doesn't bring that upon you.

3. No matter how shitty you treat Him, He will always forgive.

4. You won't get pregnant. The whole Virgin Mary incident not included.

5. He always has time for you. AND He likes your friends.

6. You can skip the whole "meet the parents" thing. Well, He can meet your parents, but at least you know He won't show up late to dinner and He won't be awkward.

7. He fills the holes in your life. Emotional dependence on God is actually healthy.

8. That whole commitment thing? yeah, He kinda loves it. He won't freak out when you say you want to be with Him the rest of your life.

9. You don't have to ditch Him during girls nights out.

10. He wrote an entire book with promises, love songs, and TRUTH for you.


i eat, i sleep, i work, i think.

i also occasionally laugh.

this unexpected bout of laziness and apathy towards all of life stems from my not spending some QT with God.

so I will be back once the whole apathy thing has ended.

That's one of the best things about being in a relationship with God. No matter how "boring" your life is at the moment, best believe He will come and shake things up, for His glory. Following Him and doing what He says basically means living a Christ-centered life. And from what I've seen and experienced, there's no such thing as an apathetic, boring life when Christ is in the picture.

So apathy, meet thy doom!


Friday, July 9, 2010

hiking, the 4th, Little India and other summer adventures.

So this summer I've decided hiking is something I actually enjoy.

Somewhere in between the years of hiking The Narrows, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, and various cave and waterfall expeditions, my father's ideals of nature have rubbed off on me and I've begun to take some adventures of my own :)

Last month I found myself hiking to the Hollywood sign with two friends. It was perfect weather, sunny but windy, and the trail was just challenging enough for me to work up a sweat... though that was largely in part to the sun. Anyway, it was definitely worth it!

This was the view at the top. And yes it feels like you're on top of the world, or on top of Los Angeles anyway.

We may or may not have had to tresspass, but I've always believed in the saying, "It is better to beg for forgiveness than to ask permission." And we didn't have to beg so it's all good.

While the hot dusty roads of North Hollywood were fun, this past week I decided to stick a little closer to home. And by home, I mean the ocean.

There's just something calming about standing over this vast body of water, shades of grey and blue by turns, and knowing God is in control. There is so much to take in. The metaphors, artistic inspiration, and the sheer power of the water is endless, a never ending wealth of our biggest fears and hopes.

This was the view when we first started hiking down the cliff. Breathtaking, no matter how many times I've seen it. (photos taken by my lovely cousin, Mikki).

After slipping and sliding down some hills we were greeted with the salty aroma of the ocean, barely crashing waves, and a lotttt of seaweed.

We also saw a lot of these little guys. One came scrabbling up by the rock I was standing on and it felt not unlke a very large spider crawling around :p Not cool haha.

Other than the hiking expeditions, I celebrated a surprisingly fun 4th of July, lit off firecrackers for the first time in my life, explored Little India, and ventured to a bonfire or two. Shopping and movies have also taken up a surprisingly large amount of my time, which is odd considering how little I care for buying things 90% of the time. All in all a good summer so far! :)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

different kinds of love.

Every relationship reads like a story, complete with humor, romance and sometimes tragedy. Always irony.

Some relationships are short stories, some are novels, some are a series where the characters keep returning, even when you thought they were done with. Some stories are great only for a certain time in your life, but once you grow out of that phase, the story just doesn't work anymore.

But in the end they are all truly stories, aren't they?

It doesn't matter if it was a seven-chapter stint, or a novel the size of your physics textbook, they were real. You learned from them, you were influenced by them.

Some of the stories weren't entirely enjoyable of course. They may have started out captivatingly enough, but the ending was so drawn-out that you couldn't wait to just close the book already.

Or maybe your story began as a slow read, but picked up speed unexpectedly towards the middle, leaving you breathless till the very end.

And sometimes the relationship is just a great read from beginning to end. You read the first page and you're hooked, and you go through the entire story absolutely addicted. Even if you have to put the story down for awhile, you just can't wait to get back to it. You don't mind re-reading it. It's a keeper.

There are the stories that you won't ever forget, even if you never read them again.
There are the stories you remember fondly, though you don't know exactly why.

It's just a matter of sorting through the different stories you read in your life and deciding which ones youre willing to take the time to read again, which ones you are willing to commit to reading to the end, and most importantly, which ones you are going to keep.

A truly great story is one to be cherished. If some parts are tedious or difficult, it's worth plodding through because the ending is wonderful.

now that i have similied the crap out of this interesting metaphor it's time to return to my own story. stories. whatever.

happy reading!


Friday, July 2, 2010

Definitely going to see this!

Say what you will about Zac pretty boy Efron, the guy can act. and sing. and dance.

And I'm not referencing High School Musical when I say this.

Anyway, besides the fact that Zac Efron is ridiculously talented gorgeous, this movie looks good :)

I've already seen Toy Story 3, so I guess this is next on my "to see in theaters" list:

I can't wait!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Life Goals

This past Saturday some friends and I went hiking up to the Hollywood sign. Given the length of the hike and the adrenaline high we got while hiking, it was almost inevitable that we would get to talking about some of the things we would like to do in this life.

Well, I got to thinking about all the things I would like to do, and I dug up my Bucket List that I made last year.

I've decided to make it public and have this blog serve as a reminder of the things I want to accomplish :)

[this list is different than my summer bucket list, just to clarify<3]

1. Travel--Italy, Austria, England, Japan, Argentina & New Zealand

2. Fight for what's right... make a difference.

3. Swim with dolphins or sea turtles... or both

4. See Muse live.

5. Find God's calling for me & pursue it with my all

6. Go skydiving or base jumping

7. Hike the Narrows again... this time all 22 miles

8. Spend a week alone in God's creation, with a notebook and camera. A Thoreauesque experience.

9. Take mother to England, and Dad to see the Blue Man Group

10. View the Northern Lights.

11. New York for Christmas and New Years Eve

12. Marry the man I truly love, and no. one. else.

13. Play the entirety of the Vince Guaraldi Trio music

14. Go on a short-term missions trip to fight human trafficking.

15. Graduate college with honors, eternal friendships, and a great experience.

16. Be financially independent.

17. Take my kids to Disneyland.

18. Spend a day or two dedicated to cave-hunting.

19. Organize all my notebooks and photos. this one might be impossible...

20. Publish a novel.

21. Speak another language fluently.

These aren't very well thought out. I remember just writing off things that came to mind, and I will refine and re-do this list as the years go on, but for now, it is a start!


Saturday, June 19, 2010

World of Color

This past Tuesday I went to see the new World of Color show at Disney's California Adventure.

It's a madhouse. The viewing area only fits 4,000 people, so seating is extremely limited. You have to actually use a FastPass in order to see the show! Crazy, right? Of course Disney, being the calculating business that it is, used this to its monetary advantage by creating "dinner and a show" like deals.

You can eat at Ariel's Grotto on Paradise Pier, and then get choice seating for the World of Color show after. A 3 course meal and guaranteed seats, all for the price of $40. Eesh.

Anyway, my aunt was kind enough to buy us all dinner and we were able to view the show together :) It was a really fun night, and thanks to the dinner deal, we had no trouble getting great seats and didn't have to wait in line.

My aunt and I, watching the sun set over Paradise Pier and waiting to eat dinner.

The siblings and cousin waiting for dinner to be served! We were seated towards the back in a little grotto of our own. It was quiet enough for good conversation, but we still got a good view of everything going on.

The view from the restaurant. This is where World of Color is shown.

Food. And weird relations of mine. We were given a choice of tri-tip steak, assorted pastas, and grilled chicken. I chose the chicken in a faux attempt to be healthy. Gannon's weird concoction is ravioli.

Anyway, the company and dining were excellent, but the show itself was just extreme.

The things Disney can do with water is amazing! It's a beautiful array of colors, music, and memories that everyone will enjoy, I promise you. There wasn't a real storyline, which I found to be something of a flaw, but other than that I thoroughly loved it!

If I'm to be honest, while it was impressive and wonderful, it wasn't my favorite show I've seen at Disney. But whatever! It's a great way to kick off the summer,

Check it out when you can :D