Monday, June 28, 2010

Life Goals

This past Saturday some friends and I went hiking up to the Hollywood sign. Given the length of the hike and the adrenaline high we got while hiking, it was almost inevitable that we would get to talking about some of the things we would like to do in this life.

Well, I got to thinking about all the things I would like to do, and I dug up my Bucket List that I made last year.

I've decided to make it public and have this blog serve as a reminder of the things I want to accomplish :)

[this list is different than my summer bucket list, just to clarify<3]

1. Travel--Italy, Austria, England, Japan, Argentina & New Zealand

2. Fight for what's right... make a difference.

3. Swim with dolphins or sea turtles... or both

4. See Muse live.

5. Find God's calling for me & pursue it with my all

6. Go skydiving or base jumping

7. Hike the Narrows again... this time all 22 miles

8. Spend a week alone in God's creation, with a notebook and camera. A Thoreauesque experience.

9. Take mother to England, and Dad to see the Blue Man Group

10. View the Northern Lights.

11. New York for Christmas and New Years Eve

12. Marry the man I truly love, and no. one. else.

13. Play the entirety of the Vince Guaraldi Trio music

14. Go on a short-term missions trip to fight human trafficking.

15. Graduate college with honors, eternal friendships, and a great experience.

16. Be financially independent.

17. Take my kids to Disneyland.

18. Spend a day or two dedicated to cave-hunting.

19. Organize all my notebooks and photos. this one might be impossible...

20. Publish a novel.

21. Speak another language fluently.

These aren't very well thought out. I remember just writing off things that came to mind, and I will refine and re-do this list as the years go on, but for now, it is a start!


Saturday, June 19, 2010

World of Color

This past Tuesday I went to see the new World of Color show at Disney's California Adventure.

It's a madhouse. The viewing area only fits 4,000 people, so seating is extremely limited. You have to actually use a FastPass in order to see the show! Crazy, right? Of course Disney, being the calculating business that it is, used this to its monetary advantage by creating "dinner and a show" like deals.

You can eat at Ariel's Grotto on Paradise Pier, and then get choice seating for the World of Color show after. A 3 course meal and guaranteed seats, all for the price of $40. Eesh.

Anyway, my aunt was kind enough to buy us all dinner and we were able to view the show together :) It was a really fun night, and thanks to the dinner deal, we had no trouble getting great seats and didn't have to wait in line.

My aunt and I, watching the sun set over Paradise Pier and waiting to eat dinner.

The siblings and cousin waiting for dinner to be served! We were seated towards the back in a little grotto of our own. It was quiet enough for good conversation, but we still got a good view of everything going on.

The view from the restaurant. This is where World of Color is shown.

Food. And weird relations of mine. We were given a choice of tri-tip steak, assorted pastas, and grilled chicken. I chose the chicken in a faux attempt to be healthy. Gannon's weird concoction is ravioli.

Anyway, the company and dining were excellent, but the show itself was just extreme.

The things Disney can do with water is amazing! It's a beautiful array of colors, music, and memories that everyone will enjoy, I promise you. There wasn't a real storyline, which I found to be something of a flaw, but other than that I thoroughly loved it!

If I'm to be honest, while it was impressive and wonderful, it wasn't my favorite show I've seen at Disney. But whatever! It's a great way to kick off the summer,

Check it out when you can :D

Friday, June 18, 2010

an indulgent monologue,

I'm not really sure what this is. It's not me speaking. It's a monologue for a character I haven't thought up, in a book I haven't written.

I guess I was just bored haha.

Anyway, a monologue full of indulgent, overly worded fluff:

It was when i suddenly realized the futility of spending time on the people I thought I valued, the opinions I was so wary of, that I found in the space a few seconds, utter despair and sudden freedom. The despair of time wasted and the shallowness of my own life gave way to the freedom from that shallowness into a life yet untainted, made pure with unthought of possibilities.

It is scary to drop a friend. but to drop a friend means to concede that person was not a true friend to begin with. In my values system, though a friend and I may grow apart, that feeling of loyalty will never completely fade. A friend may become a stranger, but never a hated one. Only a truly cold and vicious act would induce lasting feelings of dislike towards a friend.

No, the people who will shortly fade from my life were not true friends to begin with, and that is fine. This is not a bitter statement. After all, if every "friend" was a true friend, that would be evidence of people clicking with everyone they meet in the world, and as I now have learned, a life filled with genuine harmony and chemistry is simply a figment of the imagination.

It is important to identify which of your current friendships are worth fighting for, and which are, in the end, simply not worth it. You must discern which friendships are cordial but pretentious, and which are truly, bracingly, real. I have acquaintances who I get along with and have fun with, yet the fact I am acknowledging that they are acquaintances and not best friends makes is alright. I have friends whom I was once close to and no longer see. That is also alright. It is a silent nod, "we had fun hanging out together, and I haven't forgotten", and a mutual understanding that it was simply us growing up that allowed us to grow apart. But then there are those who I spend entirely too much time with, too much reliance on, the make up of a close friend, but deep at the core, it is not that at all. That is not all right.

It is uncommon, even rude, to formally acknowledge this fact aloud. So what to do when you realize this about what was formerly assumed to be a close relationship? A relationship where we are both just using each other in equal measure?

I am not entirely sure.

I know who my true close friends are, the ones I click with and enjoy spending time with, even if we are doing nothing together. The ones who take me as I am, and who I embrace everlastingly. These are the people I will put first, that I will without a doubt defend.

I know who my old friends are. These are the people who I will meet years from now and laugh about old times with, people to catch up with over lunch and to thank for a good childhood/middle school/high school experience.

I know who my acquaintances are and I look forward to whatever random adventures I find myself on with them. Who knows, but they may one day turn into close friends?

But what about those faux friends of mine?

I still don't have an answer, but I am sure, quite sure, that I am starting a new chapter in my life and though I am sluggish to begin it, it has now begun. I must leave these faux friends behind, but what then stands in their place?

I suppose time will tell, and when it does, I will probably write about it.

a thought.

Everyone has to say goodbye to childhood.

I'd like to think that having children is the closure to that goodbye.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


so the last time i wrote, all i pretty much said was, "It's Summer 2010, shit happens, and I have to put the past behind me."

Hakuna Ma-freakin-tata.

And I did. So here I am!

In the words of Timon and Pumba, 'It means no worries, for the rest of your days...'

I'm not an optimist. I know there will be worries in the future, but so far it has meant no worries for the rest of the summer.

The month of June has so far gone thus:

I have a simple job, 10-20 hours a week, with nice people.
I've spent lots of money. Clothes, food, entertainment, it adds up.
I've gone to the beach, gone to parties, and haven't cracked open a book [except for some Jane Austen but that's it I swear].

And because of all this I am, inevitably, bored.

You don't realize how busy and hectic your life is until you take a break from it. The fact that I have more than 20 minutes to finish each meal, and I don't have to wake up early to get everything done has overwhelmed me. Like... what do I do now?? I'm really happy to be out of school. I'm relieved, overjoyed, content, but I still want to be working towards something.

I've thought about it and here is what I would like to work on, for this glorious, lazy, whacked out weather summer:

1. Lose 20 pounds. I lost 13 last summer. I can go the extra mile this summer.
2. In regards to that, run 3 times a week.
3. Finish all the short stories/poems I started this past school year.
4. Save $$$
5. Learn how to surf.
6. Swim with sea turtles.
7. Apply for tons of scholarships/internships.
8. Re-do bedroom
9. Kingdom Hearts 2.

Obviously, there are more things in life that I'm working towards than the things I just listed. But honestly, its summer and I don't ever have time to do any of these things when school is in sesh. My goals aren't ambitious or even that challenging, but I think it will give me the feeling of productiveness that I lost once school ended.

I will update on how this goes in the future.



Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Hakuna Matata

is pretty much the way I will be living at the moment.