Saturday, March 26, 2011

At the beginning of 2010 I sat down and envisioned what I wanted my next year at Biola to be like:

I wanted a job where I had consistent hours so I could plan my life easier. I wanted to work at the front desk of some place and be a receptionist so I could just sit and help people without having to bruise my fingers or deal with money/small children all the time (unlike my old job).

I wanted to be an officer in PRSSA because it looks fabulous on my resume and be more involved with the journalism department. I also wanted an internship in the entertainment industry. I would have loved one with a well-known company but I would take whatever I could get.

I wanted to live in a room where it was sunny and I actually had phone service.

I wanted to be ten pounds lighter.

I wanted a big group of friends I could go out and do stuff with and just have a blast without partying or doing anything like that. Just be ourselves, hang out and be comfortable with each other. A family.

I wanted to know God better and understand what He wanted for me in life and how I should be serving Him best.

I wanted to not be hurting anymore and just finally moving on.

And through God's goodness and love I actually got all of those things. Somehow. I have my front desk job with a wonderful boss and it's not easy sometimes but I like it anyway. I am very involved in PRSSA and can't wait for next year with it. I am interning with Warner Bros. Records with a wonderful department who have shown me more grace and patience than I deserve. I love my room and my floor. I am ten pounds lighter. I have my family of friends who I love to death. And I'm learning more from and about God every day and it's awesome. And I've moved on to the point where I don't feel the need to talk about it. It's just part of the past.

But here's the funny thing... I have the life I wanted. But now that I've reached this point it's time to keep pushing for more. Keep listening to God and trying to obey Him. God is dynamic. He doesn't let us sit in our lives doing whatever. He tests us and grows us and it's awesome.

I feel I'm on the brink of that. I don't know whats going to happen and I'm pretty scared but I have a feeling something is going to change and it's going to test me and it's going to turn everything upside down again.

But while I'm sitting here on this plateau and enjoying life, I want to breathe and remember God is great in the good times and in the bad times. Breathe...

And then start running towards whatever opportunities come my way.

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